Treatment of sexual disorders begins with the recognition that any level of a person’s sexuality is normal. If someone does not experience sexual desire, arousal or orgasm, this does not mean at all that something is wrong with him.
To begin with, it is necessary to separate psychological sexual disorders from organic ones, associated, for example, with problems with blood vessels, the integrity of nerve fibers, or infectious diseases. Here consultation of the urologist or the gynecologist is indispensable.
Before starting treatment, sexual mental disorders should also be distinguished from the innate human constitution. For example, if an adult is concerned about the lack of sexual desire, but has never experienced anything like this since the onset of puberty, then his current state of sexuality is most likely a variant of the norm and does not require treatment.
Psychological sexual disorders are strongly related to the context of life, relationships, or a person’s self-image. The psychological nature of the disorder is evidenced, for example, by the preservation of sexual function during masturbation or the presence of known events in life, in relationships, in deeds, after which there was a decrease in function. It can be fights, layoffs, exam preparation, anything that causes significant stress.
Thus, it should be determined whether the problem has always manifested itself or has appeared since a certain time. And also, to understand whether the problem manifests itself in all situations or relates to certain partners, circumstances and types of sex.
Focus of the problem
In order to begin treatment of sexual problems, the focus of the problem must also be determined. To do this, it is convenient to divide the entire complex of sexual reactions into phases:
- Attraction. A state of expectation and desire to be closer to sexual stimuli. Desire for intimacy and desire for a partner.
- Excitation. The state of sexual readiness and activity, accompanied by pleasant sensations and the reaction of the genital organs (erection or hydration). At the same time, subjective sensations of excitation and reaction in the genital organs, even in normal conditions, can occur independently.
- Orgasm. Peak experience of sexual release and pleasure.
The problem is often not rooted where it seems at first glance. For example, a decrease in the strength of an erection in a man may hide a decrease in sexual desire. And behind the decrease in attraction, an unsatisfactory orgasm can be hidden.
Treatment of sexual disorders
Based on the main problem, the psychotherapy of sexual disorders can be somewhat different. For example, the treatment of decreased libido (decreased or lack of desire) affects a wide life context and relationships in a couple. Reduced levels of sexual desire may indicate a breakdown in relationships, failure in business, or sexual boredom.
For women who do not seek sexual intercourse, they often talk about the treatment of frigidity (although this term is outdated). But it should be remembered that it is absolutely normal if a woman does not strive for sex, but at the same time is able to enjoy it.
Treatment of impotence in men (click here for treatment of erectile dysfunction), if the desire is preserved, usually focuses on psychological work with the fear of sexual failure. Exaggerated demands on one’s “male strength” lead to the fact that any sexual contact becomes an exam situation. Naturally, this does not contribute to sexual arousal. Of course, before starting psychological work on this problem, it is important to be examined by a urologist and exclude the presence of organic causes.
Treatment of anorgasmia (absence or delay of orgasm) in both women and men, with the preservation of attraction and arousal, is also often aimed at getting rid of psychological attitudes that interfere with the free flow of sexual reactions. The image of ideal sex, thoughts like “do I look attractive”, distrust of the partner do not let go of control and experience an orgasm. Sometimes an orgasm can be present, but it can be difficult or not enjoyable. If you decide to see a specialist for sexual problems, it is important to remember that intensive psychotherapy is not always needed. A consultation with a sexologist will help you understand which of the following is right for you.
- It may be sufficient to acknowledge that any level of your sexuality is normal. And you equally have both the freedom to strive for change and the freedom not to change.
- Check if you know enough about sexuality. It is possible that what you considered your psychological problem and felt guilty for it, in fact, is not a problem, or it is not about you.
- Perform special exercises recommended by a specialist and observe psychosexual hygiene. The exercises are about communicating with a partner and exploring your body.
- Only in some cases will psychotherapy be required. Psychotherapy for sexual dysfunctions can relate to maladaptive psychological attitudes from childhood, traumatic experiences, depressive states, and relationships in a couple.
Treatment of sexual disorders is important for several reasons. Healthy sexuality is the success of conception. Sexuality includes our achievement motives. Sexuality is necessary to start and strengthen couple relationships. Sexuality makes a huge contribution to our satisfaction with life.